Golf and Non-Golf: How About Our Own Good Friday Agreement?

Author: Richard Bernstein

Date: April 11, 2023

My wife Terese and I moved here four years ago from Maryland. We were attracted by the beautiful village, physical environment, and golf course. Little did we know -- until recently -- that we had moved to a community that was in a decades-long fight between Association and Golf Club, and between "Golf" and "Non-Golf." 

Please permit me to share some advice I received 40 years ago as a young litigator. I was told there were two kinds of disputes. The first is between sides who don't have to live with each other. A recent example is the Gwyneth Paltrow ski accident trial. The only priority each side had was victory in that solitary dispute. 

The second kind of dispute is one that exists between two sides that, like it or not, are in a permanent relationship. Imagine PepsiCo and a major national grocery store owner such as Albertsons. They want to put past disputes to rest, and approach present and future disputes with the mutual recognition that reaching solutions that foster a permanent relationship must be a priority. They should want resolution more than victory. 

In Rancho Santa Fe, the disputes between the Association and Golf Club, and between "Golf" and "Non-Golf," exist within a permanent relationship.  Neither side has the ability to annihilate the other, or even get a divorce.  And that is a good thing.  Imagine trying to sell your house in a market where the Covenant is known as a bad place to live for golfers OR for non-golfers. Who wants to eliminate half the potential buyers for your house? 

Some may say this is the perspective of a naive newcomer who does not understand the intractable disputes between "golf" and "non-golf" here in Rancho Santa Fe. And it is true that I don't know who did what to whom recently, much less in the past. But perpetuating the cycle of grievances cannot be our best option. 

The world recently has commemorated the 25th anniversary of the 1998 Good Friday Agreement in Northern Ireland. Surely the many decades of disputes between Nationalists and Unionists in Northern Ireland have been more intractable than anything in Rancho Santa Fe. But when the sides in Northern Ireland accepted that they were in a permanent relationship -- in which no side could achieve a "final" victory over the other -- both sides benefitted.  There are still important and difficult disputes, and proximity assures there always will be. But the Good Friday mindset nonetheless has reduced violence by 90% and GDP per capita has doubled. 

So, here in Rancho Santa Fe, to quote John Lennon, let's "give peace a chance." 

Rich Bernstein is a member of the Rancho Santa Fe Golf Club and is married to a non-golfer.